my mother is probably dead because i'm trans.

My mom is missing and possibly dead because I'm trans. And my dad is threatening me because of it.

Background: I am a 21 year old immigrant from Russia, living in Finland, studying at the University of Helsinki. My parents found out I am trans a month ago and threatened to kill me and intimidated me in every way. They even threatened my professor because they thought the professor had turned me against my parents.

Yesterday I had a terrible conversation with my parents. The thing is, some Finn came to them and intimidated them, saying that Finland is a complete hell, full of drug addicts and crime. This really scared my mom and dad. They started hinting that I was a drug addict and that I had a terrible life as some kind of prostitute (if you knew me, you would understand how crazy this sounds).

I denied everything, but my mom didn't like the tone of my answer and didn't believe me. We dropped the conversation (it had already lasted for over an hour). In the morning, my mother sent me messages that she was going crazy (she had previously said that she couldn't live knowing that her child had become trash), that she felt bad and that she was dying, and that I didn't understand her feelings. She hadn't been online since 9:30. She didn't answer calls. At 15:40, my father texted me that my mother had disappeared and that I would pay if something happened to her.

My mother is most likely dead and my father wants me to pay for it (if she really died).

I cried for 20 minutes but now I'm emotionless. I'm a terrible person and I technically probably killed my mother.

I don’t know what to even think about it. It feels so surreal.