AITAH because I told my ex husband outside of our kids i don’t care about his life and I don’t owe his fiancé anything

I’ll fix the grammar later, fake names and throwaway

So my (36f) ex husband Tom (35m) left me for his “work wife” Tammy (25f) two years ago, I never liked her even before I found out about their relationship

The first time I met her at a work event she told me while I was heavily pregnant my youngest “better up your wife game or I might steal him off you” well 3 months later she did, this woman literally came with him to help pack the day he moved out and tried to have a one on one conversation on how she wanted our relationship going forward because she was gonna be in my life

Than said as a joke “told you I’d steal him away” not gonna lie I’m thankful she did because when my ex made a comment about her being 23 and her brain not being fully developed I got the ick so bad it turned my heartbreak into relief. I got everything in the divorce because I got him in his affair fog and gave 50/50 custody for our kids sake

I’m civil for the sake of my kids so we can both attend events without drama but other than that I couldn’t honestly careless about them. around June Tammy came instead of Tom for pick and practically skipped towards me to show off her engagement ring saying she wanted me as a bridesmaid along with my daughters for something I didn’t catch because I was in a rush to get our cat to the vet. She got upset because I just said hmmm her whole conversation per toms texts a few hours later

Same happened again in September when she told me she was pregnant which again my zero fucks given upset her. in December when she told me the second I opened the car door “toms finally getting a son” to which I sarcastically replied “ I’m sure lord toms excited for an heir to take over his lands and titles” which caused drama too because toms family found it hilarious when Tammy was bad mouthing me

December was the last time I saw her till today at drop off’s with Tom. As they approached me I noticed Tammy didn’t look pregnant anymore

Tammy tearfully said “we lost the baby” I didn’t answer just told Tom our second daughter has a birthday party tomorrow at 3 and the oldest has gymnastics at 5. Tammy literally screamed at me I was a heartless bitch and bitter than grabbed the girls bags walking away

Tom said I could show a little humanity towards Tammy and regardless of my feelings she is my kids stepmother, I told Tom I don’t care about what he going through because outside our kids I don’t care about them and I don’t owe Tammy anything especially pity

He called me an asshole (along with other things) and left usually this wouldn’t bother me but my ex in laws who I have a good relationship have told me I should have shown Tammy some empathy and at the very least pretended to care for the sake of the kids