AITAH for "changing my mind on wanting kids" and saying "I've never been more disappointed in " my wife.
My wife and I are both 27. We got married at 21 (I know that's young). We never wanted kids and agreed to it.
In August, my wife's sister and her husband died. We minded their kids (6 and 3) since. She is a godmother to the 6 year old and I'm a godfather to the 3 year old. We had a really good relationship with the couple. Her husband was my pub/football buddy etc.
We recently were asked our intentions with the kids. We had a huge fight. She wants to put them in care but I don't. Financially we are very good. No debt. Own our home (inherited). I have a successful business. She has been very successful so far in her job etc.
She said she doesn't want to be tied down to kids. I said it wouldn't have been my first choice but they are family.
She said I knew you'd change your mind on kids. I was like I didn't change my mind, the circumstances changed. I asked her if she didn't see a duty to them she said no. She said they'll get a family maybe with kids already in the home and they will be better off. And I said if they don't get a family or if they get a family that isn't great.
She said I'm not minding them. The balls in your court she said. I asked if shes 100% certain. She said yeah. I was honestly shocked and said I've never been more disappointed in her. She said likewise.
We have never argued ever - maybe a fun argument over what show to watch. We arent even talking. We still give each other a morning kiss and cuddle but that's about it.
Selfishly there's a tiny part of me wondering if she would feel any responsibility to me if something happened to me. I know that's unfair. I also find it incredibly heartless. The eldest still cries many nights. You can see the sadness in him. To say into care you go.. au revoir. It's mindblowing to me.
Just for balance. I do love her and she is a great woman.
AITAH
Edit:
Let's not be at my wife. She has even through a lot. Disagree but some of the language is disgusting.
If you think it's "AI crap" then move on. I'm sick of seeing it. I've enough to be dealing with without you spamming that.
God parent =/= guardian where we live. My godparents wouldn't have been my legal guardian. But we are family.
Another edit: I'm logging off so wont be answering. I hoped for a bit of help etc. The spamming was just too much. I suppose don't look for advice from online. Thanks to the people who were kind even if they don't agree with my ultimate decision being to prioritise my wife. Sorry if I didn't reply.