Anyone else quit their evil playthrough?

I tried to do an evil playthrough, to get Minthara.

But I’m really struggling, every decision makes my chest hurt.

Telling the Tief children they were going to die, letting Arabella get killed, smashing Alfira’s lute, all made me feel so bad.

Then came the animals, I murked the owlbear mother, and the cub was so sad. Then came scratch, let’s say he’s a hot dog now, courtesy of eldritch blast.

I’m not sure how much longer I can keep being evil.