Character Development

Honestly the way I’ve been with you has been like a really unique weird experiences. The things you set when we met kind of carved the route I followed in how I carried myself and who I wanted to be to be who you wanted me to be. That was unfamiliar territory and tbh I ended up somewhere I couldn’t navigate. Caught up in lies caught up in questions and or scenarios where I looked guilty but wasn’t. I ended up making it to where when I wasn’t trying to onoiss you off but I still pissed you off. I cried and I pleaded for you and I saw and heard nobody. I shivered and I shook and I sweated my life away the person I was before this was leaving my body in terrible pain and you were nowhere to be found to be there for me. Although all of this was for you, you don’t owe me anything. You didn’t need to be there and you didn’t have to hold me or whisper to me. Or help me in any way or bring food. I got through it. ALONE. As usual and I learned a valuable lesson. Don’t be different then who you truly are because when you fake it or try to become some way someone else wants you to be it’s not natural you don’t know how to handle things that are difficult to handle as well had you focused on what you’ve spent your entire life shaping and molding.

I wish that I never had to go through this. Every aspect of life really in the past two months has been a complete nightmare. As long as I see the baby with a smile on her face I am happy and everything was worth it.

-S.R