I’m so fucking unwell

I'm 16 and I was circumcised at birth. I realized at around 14 but thought nothing of it, I thought It was just a normal, healthy thing done with good intentions. Also im not religious and it wasn’t done for medical purpose, it was truly for no fucking reason. As I researched more I realized how fucking disgusting my dick is, it's not supposed to fucking look like this. And you know I have other problems weather it be, family problems, failing in HS, self harm, but at least all that shit is fixable this is like pouring a fucking gallon of acid into a wound, this is irreversible damage to one of the only things that’s guaranteed to give me happiness In life and it’s forever fucking mutilated. honestly I think I’m fucking pathetic for reacting like this, I cry over it, harm myself over it, get so fucking angry over it, I mean truly it’s just a piece of fucking skin on my dick, I have the entire rest of my body intact but this shit is causing me some fucked up thoughts. What if I don’t own my body? what if I was meant to be customized like this? do my parents own my body? I want to say before i keep going my parents aren’t abusive or terrible or any of that shit my mom is just gullible and my dad probably doesn’t care cause he’s circumcised as well, I bet the doctor was talking to my mom like “circumcising can Lower the risk of this and that” and “it’ll look better” and she just fucking gave in as I was carried to a room at a few minutes old and forever damaged. I’m so fucking pathetic, and worthless, I fucking hate my penis, no one will love me, I will die knowing I was damaged, I will never know what I lost, I will never be my whole perfect body. I WANT TO FUCKING HURT MYSELF FOREVER I hate myself and MAYBE I FUCKING DESERVE THIS FUCK. also I’m sorry I should probably go to therapy or tell someone but maybe I really do deserve it.