Gained weight after stopping drugs

I hate being fat so much!! Ever since I stopped doing meth i’ve gained so much weight. I used to be skinny. Now i’m gaining weight, i’m fat. And everytime i try sticking to a diet and i fail & it pisses me off !! I have no self control whatsoever. I know it’s my fault that I gained weight lol. I was only at my skinniest while on drugs. I miss the hoes too, i don’t go out anymore cuz im insecure asf. Idk if it’s a good idea to go back to it so i can lose weight again.