First night since son's birth (4 months) away from wife and baby. I thought it would be a fun "me night", but I hate it.

We had a wicked windstorm up here in Alaska and it's knocked out power for thousands today. My wife took our boy to her parent's because I don't have a generator to keep the heat on. Her parents live too far for me to stay the night and commute tomorrow, so I stayed home.

I'm very, very involved as a dad. I love taking care of our boy, I love putting him to bed, I love feeding him at night so my wife can sleep. I love cooking my wife dinner and making her coffee in the morning. I really love our life, but I do a LOT. There was a selfish part of me that was excited for some me-time. I thought if the power comes back I could even play Xbox without a baby monitor in my lap and drink a few beers, which I never do anymore. Not to mention sleeping through the night!

Nope. They've been gone several hours and I keep getting this lump in my throat like I could cry, and I have no appetite. I did NOT expect to feel this way. I am absolutely yearning to be with them. I hate the thought of my wife having to do diapers and feeding alone through the night.

So I'm packing up my uniform and boots and getting ready for a very early morning commute because I'm a little 30 year old ninny boy who misses my drooling redheaded fart machine too badly to spend a night away.