I am struggling way more than I let on.

I was told today that I seemed to be doing well now bc I was smiling and telling jokes in a group setting.

They don’t know that’s my mask. They do not know that every day, multiple times a day, I weep and ugly sob over the loss of my 3 year old dog. They don’t know that I spend most of the day laying in bed wishing I would just pass away. They don’t know that I question what’s the point of life anymore.

And it seems that no one even wants to know. People don’t even ask how I am doing. I think it makes them feel better to think that I am doing good or okay. Which is understandable. I will keep my grief and depression away from those who don’t want to see it.