I’m sick and tired of dating and romance

This place probably gets 1 million posts a day about this but fuck it. This past semester I have been on upper 20ish dates and it’s just disappointment after disappointment. Just used as a free meal, or she’s not over her ex, or “there isn’t a spark” I’m fucking tired of it! I’m a junior in college and I’ve never had a serious relationship I’m sick of it. I despise hook up culture and will never do it even when offered on a silver platter to me. All I want is just for someone to actually give a shit and be genuine. I’m tired of feeling like I could die or disappear and no one would care. I’m in good shape, have hygiene/ style, decent game/ personality so I should be good enough to find a gf but apparently a real relationship is just impossible at college. Everyone else around me tho seems to not have a problem with this and it just happens without any effort while I do everything I can with just nothing to show for it. I fucking hate it I just want to lock myself away and disappear.