I really hope this post gets some meaningful replies. For my sake, at least. I'm also using a burner given that all of my friends know my actual Reddit account, and would see if I posted here. Most of them are religious, hence the reason behind hiding my "new affliction."

I grew up largely christian, and I can't exactly remember why, but church and the act of going, sundays, the whole nine, started feeling somewhat half-baked, almost like a cult. The doctrine was no longer comforting, but rather alienating. Thank goodness I have good parents, so they didn't force me to keep going (this was years ago). After a while, it felt a bit weird not to have something "religious" going on, so I looked into other religions. Since Islam is almost always pinned against christianity, and Judaism feels like an exclusive club (another cult?), I looked into it.
But, it had too many red flags, from the age of consent to forbidding mundane stuff such as not exposing your hair, that I decided to drop that can of worms.
I pushed all of this to the back of my mind for a long period, and found it "haunting" me recently, so I began the search again.
And it seemed like atheism welcomed me all of a sudden. I scoured this subreddit for hours, and found mostly just posts of people "getting freed" from religion, and other (seemingly hatred-fueled) posts bashing whatever religious person they had an argument with. I started watching Alex O' Connor, listening to debates with Richard Dawkins, and even some talks with Sam Harris.
All in all, the idea of not following any nonsensical baseline rules sounded good enough, so I jumped ship, "officially" left Christianity, whatever that means.

And I have a few questions, and I'm REALLY hoping the answers don't lead me to a few cyanide pills.

1. What is atheism? Can you please define it? Am I an atheist now because I believe life has no inherent meaning and doesn't contain a God? I think the idea is generally "decentralized," so I'm expecting different answers from different people. But I'm assuming it's something along of the lines of literally not accepting theism, which is fine, but what's the backbone? It feels like I have nothing to rest on, just this idea of not accepting that there's a God because there's no proof, even though I don't recall religion saying they have outright proof to begin with.
2. Sometimes I feel guilty, like I'm still going to go to hell because "I didn't get it," or something. I'm not sure this is a question, but felt right to leave it in here.
3. What's your moral compass? I see many people saying "be a good person." What does that mean? A good person to who? A good person based on what? A good person always, or just when I feel like it? And who exactly defines "good"? Is it society, or me, or some author I think is smart enough to know?
4. Why give life meaning to begin with? No, honestly, does it even need to have meaning? Maybe because it feels good? It feels good to have sex and create things so we push ourselves to do more of it using "meaning," but it feels like that isn't a requirement and more arbitrary. So, REALLY, what's the ACTUAL reason behind not taking my life, is that not my right? I mean, there's no one to judge me, I guess.
5. I can't believe the first "person" to hear this is Reddit, but I began heavily drinking recently. I live in a single dorm in college, and alcohol is pretty accessible if you know the right people. "Right" people being a bit ironic here. And I partnered up with a couple "bad" friends and started going to bars, doing whatever softcore drug they offered, getting high on "no rules." Too many head-splitting hangovers to keep count of. But it feels awful. Really awful. I hate both myself and what I'm doing. And those lousy sundays covered me from doing this. So am I morally bankrupt?
6. Why do you still wake up every day? And please don't tell me it's because "life is worth living" and chalk it up to "making it worth it" because I genuinely do not understand that or what's intrinsically great about making life worth it from scratch. No matter how life-changing your life might've been, it'll be erased in 10 years following your life tops (more if you're lucky), and if we're just being "good people," I don't see how religion is anti-that (generally). Again, I have to draw parallels so that I don't feel like this step I took was in vain.

I wish I can keep going, but this post might die on arrival, so I'll keep any more questions to later in case any person responds. Thank you.

EDIT: Thanks everyone. I really didn't expect this many replies. You might've saved a life, today. Genuinely, thank you. I'll find meaning, darn it, I swear I'll do it!