Please excuse my rant =)

Hello everyone. Let me say that I appreciate you all! I've only just found this app and I'm learning so much! Thank you! My journey started in December, 2023. Pancreatitis.. And informed me I probably had pancreatic cancer due to something they saw on the ultrasound and CT. I eventually had more testing through January and was told it was gallbladder cancer(adenocarcinoma). I had an open radical cholecystectomy on February 27, 2024. They thought that they got everything except the circulating tumour cells and the possibility of other involved lymph nodes. The cancer had metastasized so they couldn't be certain. The plan was pseudo adjuvant chemo. I had a stent in the common bile duct that reportedly had never leaked, even with the contrast dye during placement, and it was removed this week. The leak is in the liver itself. At the end of March I was taken via ambulance to ED for what was initially thought to be an abscess on my pancreas.. Turned out to be fluid accumulation (bile) that caused an obstruction to the stomach and bowels. Drain placed.. Chemo on hold. Fast forward to yesterday.. Another "abscess" has been spotted on my liver. I'll need another drain.. Placement so far is a month away. Chemo on hold. If it's an abscess.. Antibiotics and then wait and see. If it's bile.. It'll just happen again and chemo will be held indefinitely. In a perfect world I wouldn't want or need chemo.. But in this world it's the only thing that may buy me some extra time. I'm just a bit disappointed and, to be frank, a bit scared that the passing months translate into fewer years longterm. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest!