Husband wants to cosleep
As the title states. Currently, our arrangement is as follows: I sleep on a double floor mattress in baby’s room and my husband sleeps in our room with our 2 Velcro dogs. He wishes to sleep with our son (9 months). I can understand the desire to be close and get all the cuddles in, I just don’t know if he/we can do it safely.
There are a few reasons for this. Firstly, my husband moves a lot in his sleep. He’s punched and kicked me whilst in the middle of a dream numerous times. He’s also a very deep sleeper and falls asleep anywhere. He has sleep apnea and sometimes he’ll doze off just sitting upright and not even realize it. Next, we have our 2 dogs. They love to sleep with us and their favourite spot is right by our heads or cuddled up against our chest. We have a king memory foam mattress in our room that is too soft for baby and he is a stomach sleeper. Our floor mattress is too small for 3 of us. And my husband wakes up much earlier for work than we do, so the alarm would probably wake baby.
I’m not going to lie, the idea of him sleeping with our son makes me anxious. It gave me so much anxiety that he would fall asleep with him doing a night shift that right off the bat when he was born, I was doing all the nights. But now with our son being more mobile, I wonder if there’s a way to do this safely? He is almost walking at this point.
Anyone have any suggestions? Would you recommend that my husband be able to cosleep with our baby? I know most couples who cosleep together have baby either in the middle or with dad beside mom and mom beside baby. But we can’t quite control where our dogs sleep and one is incredibly anxious and needs to be touching one of us all night.
ETA: I guess another question would be if there will be a time where it would be okay for my husband to cosleep with our son given the above reasons? What age would that be?
Update: Thank you so much for all of your comments and suggestions. It has definitely affirmed that my husband cosleeping with us is not a safe choice right now.