Is this good ?

Tried to use as much advice as I can that I got here last time. No unnecessary water, tighter crop, I wanted to give it a rough/raw look which idk if it is coming out like that. I had to do this against a clock. Sun was going down had no lights. All in all 5min of actual shooting and around 20min of setting up. I feel a quite bit underwhelmed and will give it another go soon (maybe in a month or so)