Losing feelings

Besides people who are close to me I am losing all emotion and empathy, I do alot of bad shit and I don't feel bad for it anymore, no matter what I'm doing, stealing, fighting, running from police I just don't feel scared or sad or really anything. I can't stop self harming and I've been trying for a long time. No matter what I do I'm the bad guy. Everybody says so much shit abt me and judge me based on the shit I do and none of these people actually know me but they go around telling people shit. I wanna cry but I can't let myself no matter how many people try to help. All these people say they're there for me but none actually care. And I can't cry cause everytime I do I get memories of my dad threatening to kill himself cause I was a lil bitch cause I was crying. I just give up now. Fuck what they say, I'll probably ditch most people soon