Gf unhappy with our relationship dynamic regarding sex and I’m unsure of what to do

I’m a 24M and have been dating my gf 25F for a little over 3 years now, we are each others first and have explored a couple different things together. However she’s always had difficulty making me finish, she has maybe 5 times over the course of 3 years.

I personally don’t have a problem with this, I do make an effort to get her off and everytime we do it she orgasms usually 2 times. I will finish if I am in control of the situation, so any position where I am not the one actively doing the work will essentially be a lost cause.

This makes her frustrated, sad, and self conscious, which I understand. However I’m unsure of what to do since I don’t like being in the position of essentially the “receiver”, I’d much rather be the “giver”. It’s at the point where she cries about it at times and her libido has taken a hit because of being “unable to please me”.

However I don’t want to actively do things I’m not comfortable with, which to me it feels like she doesn’t understand, which is basically anything where she does the work, I don’t like oral sex being done to me, I don’t like anything with hands being done to me, and I really don’t prefer her to be on top, it’s relatively uncomfortable.

Which is essentially where I’m at a crossroad at, she takes it far more personally than it is, saying things like “if I was better at it you’d probably ask for it more” and kinda self degrading comments like that. Which I try to comfort her and say that isn’t the case (it truly isn’t), but I also understand her side of feeling inadequate, I know my ego would probably take a blow if I couldn’t bring her to orgasm.

I do genuinely like our activities when I’m in control of the movement and I do give feedback (moaning and compliments) during the acts. But the lack of me asking for any “selfish” sexual favors as well as turning them down when she offers them has taken a toll on her, which is kinda hurting things as a whole.

I don’t understand why I’m uncomfortable being the “selfish” one, whether it’s self esteem or whatever, but I want to know how can I address her or work around the issue better to where atleast we can start to get back into a comfortable sexual dynamic for us both.