How to find your personality after a decade+ of being extremely repressed?

Not sure if this is the right sub for this, but I figure I’d give it a shot.

How do I find my personality again after close to 25 years of repressing myself? I spent a majority of my life being bullied and then, as an adult, abused. I became a people pleaser, a yes man, and generally agreeable to be liked.

Now that I’ve mostly healed the inner turmoil that resulted from that, I’m trying to make friends again. But now I have no idea who I am. It’s not natural for me to be silly, or fun, or anything other than reserved and agreeable. But I know I am capable of it; I’m a writer, and some of the things I write are so funny and clever. Why can’t I be that person in speech as well? I find myself with a totally blank mind when people are talking to me. What are some things I can practice doing to get my sense of self back? Thanks in advance 🤗