What's your craziest misinterpretation of a song's lyrics?

I'll go first: I originally thought that Say It Ain't So was about Jeffrey Dahmer. My mother told me it was and it honestly made a lot of sense. I thought the "somebody's heinie is crowding my icebox" line referred to the body part, and that the 2nd verse and the chorus was his father's reaction to his son's crimes. I'm 100% serious by the way. In retrospect, it really isn't like Rivers to write about such fucked up stuff, but it made a lot of sense at the time.